Friday, 22 February 2013


Honestly speaking, I was so happy to hear all my seniors passed their final year exam. It felt like there was this small ray of hope for me. Like a motivation. I can do this. Just another year to endure. Just another year with exams.

One more year.
One freaking year.

Saturday, 16 February 2013

of labours and babies again.

I am just glad I am able to sleep on my own bed last two nights. My quota of witnessing 10 c-section and 10 normal vaginal deliveries had been fulfilled. I had my own two miserable weeks, waiting for deliveries. I had my fair shares of witnessing interesting cases and finishing it off with a bang also. The last labor I witnessed, the baby was literally popping out of the vagina. I don't know whether it was just my bad luck or what, but the amnion liqour splashed all over face and my apron (white coat). Thank God I had my specs on and I was not opening my mouth in awe or anything. It smelled really bad afterwards. Something like a rotten egg I think.

A fetus of 20+ weeks old. 

For some reason, vaginal deliveries were not that easy to witness. When you thought it is normal, it should be in abundance but it seemed not to me. And my fellow friends agreed to that too. It made you treasure every single labour you witnessed. But anyway, I am just glad it happened.

This past two weeks taught me about a lot of things. Like this is the path that I chose. Like I cannot afford to second guess myself. Like am I really going to do this. I think it made me realized more of what I want to do and what kind of doctor I want to be later in life. Not career wise but personality wise. My sister told me, this will be what internship like. You are in the hospital round the clock and you have time to barely even manage yourself. My situation was a bit different though since I have classes from 8am till 4pm. I dozed off  a couple of times during classes. Heh.

Never the less, this taught me to be independent. To treat everyone nicely and equally. To be positive. To have my utmost dependency to Allah. To have kind thoughts to Allah that he never abandon me in whatever condition I am in. I don't know how to tell you the helplessness I felt that day when no case came in. Good news came to me amidst all that chaos was my exam result. I finally made it to the final year officially which was like a huge relief. Now only passing the final year exam is the only thing I need to think about. Aside from learning to ask and understand Kannada too.

I need to master the basics at least.


I am holding on to this saying "Everyday may not be good, but there is something good everyday" It will only depend on how I am looking at it.

Toodles everybody.

Sunday, 10 February 2013

Final year. I am scared. I don't know much. Help.

Technically speaking, this week may not be the best start for my final year. I am tired from lack of sleep, emotionally drained, and simply exhausted. I decided to take a day off today to help unwind myself.

Since Monday, I have been doing night postings in the hospital. Once I finished my classes in the college, I will head home and freshen up. Cleaned myself, have a proper dinner and got some rest. At 7 or so, I will head off to the hospital and camped up in the O&G department. I don't know which part I dread the most. Spending time alone in the hospital or having to spend my time in that condition of a hospital. I think most probably the latter.

The first and second night were horrible. As I have to wait and wait and wait but no case came up and I ended up empty handed the next morning. I was disheartened, disappointed and stressed. By second night at 9pm I had zero case to witness. My frustrations increased more as I saw too many pregnant mothers with big bellies as if ready to pop out babies, happily walking about, not showing any signs they are giving birth soon!

But as the days progressed, I got used to it and more cases being witnessed. I think almost all posted during the night duty, i.e nurses, interns and post grads in the department recognized me already. I loitered around, checking every few hours whether any new admissions will be there, borrowing case sheets, becoming some sort of the help in the OT, you know tying up the OT dresses, giving away gloves. Well I don't mind really. People are generally nice to me since maybe they knew being in the 2nd unit is enough torture to endure after all.

What boggles my mind is, too many expectant mothers yet so few are delivering babies.They have to shift some to Gynae ward instead of the Antenatal ward due to the nonavailability of beds. Come on Indian babies. Come and see the world! Push your way through!

Here's praying to more babies being delivered this week. I have few more cases to be completed. I decided to take a night off today. I need some proper sleep and rest to face few more nights in the hospital. and probably some scoldings from my head of unit since I did not manage to complete my record in a week's time. Not my fault. Well... yes, it is my fault for not returning soon but it will be much help if you induced them to deliver when they are in 40weeks+ of gestation. I suspect they are saving cases for final year exams last week.

Oh well.

May Allah ease!