Of Ramzan n Raya

Ramzan

Ramadan 

Ramdan

Ramadhan 

Pick any . It's the same.

This was my first year spending my entire month of fasting with my family after 5 years abroad. My sisters are all married now. So with them juggling their time with their own family and in laws, this holy month of Ramadhan was a bit different. Plus, my brother is attending a boarding school. So I can safely say,  I spent almost the whole month with my parents alone. It was different but not in a bad way. I do miss the days when we were small. And the whole family was there. Now I am pretty much the "anak emas" at home. So can't complain. Hahah. 

To compensate, we have extra three members(2 brother in laws and a nephew) in the family, making our family larger and more merrier. I love that though. 

I used to wonder why the heck people make a big deal of their own nephew and nieces. Like shut up already. They are not your children and not remotely cute anyway (this is my inner monologue on certain people so it can be pretty vicious at times but not always). And now, I am the doting makcik. Whatever this boy does is cute. Maybe I am biased. I am pretty sure I am biased but whatever, my nephew is cute. 

and my sister is becoming a real makcik already. I hope she realizes this if she is reading. bye

Hi I am home

Hi

again, I am home.

Dah sebulan balik tapi bizi jadi anak kesayangan.LOL

It is definitely a bliss to be at home. Going back home this time around was definitely a long and arduous journey for me. The process to dissociate..lol for that time being la.. you don't know man.i just want to get out from that place during that time because I think I had spent enough time away from home. anyway where was i? oh yeah, to dissociate myself from india. Not because being ungrateful or whatnot but you know, for the above mentioned reason. It was such a headache to deal with college. So many things to be done. They needed this and that. Go Xerox this and that. Go pay this and that.  Just go show your face to principal. Go sign this. That already set me back few days. Lesson learnt, in case any of you who is currently in India and about to graduate, Don't.. I repeat, DON'T go for a holiday UNLESS you have finished everything related with college. I made a huge boo-boo there. So when my friends were all ready to go home, I was left alone sobbing, out of loneliness..LOL NO.. since i have other friends to entertain me and I was running around back and forth to college and hotel ( we finished dealing with our rented home earlier and i didn't want to be alone in that house, badgered by my overly attached neighbour), I barely had time to do the crying part. That will come later.

Then I made a huge mistake again, not checking my residential permit which unfortunately expired 6 days prior to my original departure date. I checked it on the way to the airport and merrily went my way thinking Nothing could go wrong. WRONG! Everything can go wrong when you are travelling abroad. Yeah I didn't get checked in because the immigration was not letting me. I had to travel back to maiso and get a bloody stamp releasing me from India.( to know whether I have any criminal records back in maiso. so if i have a record in between prolly ok haha) No assistance offered to me, a lone female Malaysian traveller, in terms of what my plans were (by an airline owned by a Malaysian company ..obviously not MH) besides talking to the immigration officials after I plead them multiple times to please go talk to them since I knew this was not the first time people forget to check their expired RPs, hell, my friend didn't ever bring her visa could still pass through immigration. The anguish is still fresh here but yeah it was my fault anyway.

I shed too many tears that week. Mentally tiring month I think because after that there were a couple of glitches with my college again.

But anyway, the best thing that came out, out of all these things, was I went back home FOR GOOD with the two people I love the most, me mum and me dad. So sayang them. They came the next day after my supposed departure date. I guess I did worry them by crying buckets on the phone. I am not a huge fan of crying in public okay but that day all hell broke loose. My face is batu one mostly. A friend told me maybe because I was so near yet so far from home.So that  hit hard you know.

Oh and my interview will be on this Thursday. Do pray it will run smoothly for me.

So yeah.

and, Happy Mother's Day, Mummy. and Happy Birthday, Daddy. Both of you are the best parents anyone could ever wish for.

Much love.

sunday blues.

Although I terribly dislike(since hate is too strong) the establishment I am from but I know this is the place where I got all my knowledge from, where I learned my life lessons, where I build my own characters, and where I dealt with people from all walk of life. So I cannot hate because at the end of the day, I need to thank JSS for the ample opportunities they have given, for me to grow as a person . I hope this wouldn't come up in the search engines. Haha.

I just hope they will decide the date for my graduation day so that I can prepare mentally whether my parents will be there or not. Because they infuriate me with their indecisiveness. 

On the other hand, I am being very productive today. Finally cleaned up my messy room, my messy bathroom. Actually cleaning them up so I don't have to put so much effort when my parents are coming. Hahaha. 

Time to eat Biryani. Ciao.

ey

When people asked me why I want to be a doctor, I am always stumped. I have pondered about this question too for so many times and I honestly can't say the reason for me to become one.

But anyway, when people put this thought on all girls..once you have finished your studies, you will go to work, get married and have children. I know it is not demeaning to become a wife and a mother.  but come on, I do have other things in mind. Granted my mum wouldn't let me be near any war zones whatsoever but I do find doing those working in humanitarian aid interesting. But I feel I am no where near competent to work in that area yet. I still need my training. I still need to learn. If you ask me, I have almost zero confidence in working but I am really really willing to learn. I want to do stuff. It doesn't have to be big. My name doesn't need to be known. I believe even small things can affect people. And I guess that is what I want to achieve.

I am blabbering here. I just need to get something off my chest. It is just bothering me on how people who doesn't really know me try to view myself. I am not a very socially able person but I can manage. It just irks me when they have this pinpoint view of what I am, what I will be, what I want to do. It is just that.

Ok signing off now.

meep

I met a patient who remembered me. I didn't hear her calling after me and she was running to catch me up. and we talked with my broken Kannada I asked her whether she is doing fine or not. She gave me a big smile and said she was feeling great. Well, I gave a her a hug first since I didn't know how to respond properly to this small lady in front of me. Haha.

oh yeah

Happy New Year

I mean no disrespect.

Hi I am going to finish Obs & Gynae soon. I am undoubtedly happy about it. Anyway, what I wanted to lament and complain now because that is what I do best is how much people are sometimes over sharing about certain something. For example, breastfeeding. I know you are advocating breastfeeding. Undeniably as a medical student we were stressed about the importance of it. The whole chapter in Paediatrics was about breastfeeeding. In Obs, the first thing we did after delivering is feeding the baby with the mother's own milk and strongly denied the mother to feed the baby other than breast milk for the first 6 months. I really support these mothers who really want the best nutrition for their child but sometimes, dude.. there is a line. I don't need to know how much you have pumped today. I don't need to know how you pumped your milk. I don't need to know how much you have stored in the fridge and how long it will last. I get it you are excited to share the good news. You are happy. You are one of the few lucky enough to be pumping away with a very good outcome. But I guess, it's Facebook. Can't really tell people how to run their lives. Insert one selfie with deep captions about life. So, bye-bye.

Lesson learnt.

The most important and useful lesson I have learnt so far is how to handle a newborn baby. I can now proudly carry babies without any fear of dropping them. Well, the fear is still there but I can brush them off confidently since Psshh.. I've carried a few newborns now. 

Tomorrow is Diwali. I have to go to work and put up a night there because it is our OPD day. Our consultants already told not to admit any patients unless emergency. I am going to do labor duty and I hope there is at least one labor to see and conduct hopefully. 

What a life!