bye2 paeds.dont understand why people call this dept pedo.sounds wrong.

Rarely a facebook status caught my attention. But one did today. 

This is what it said roughly..

Don't complain too much if I keep on updating my status about the general election. Since it's a thing that comes once in five years. In which it will decide our future. 

I didn't complain about your statuses of food, kpop and football all year round, did I? 

To those people I say, Padaaaan!!

Honestly, I like going to facebook for current updates of what's going on with the world. Reading people's reaction and opinions of what's going on is healthy because you've got to know two sides of opinions usually. I would rather read these things on facebook rather than those aimless statuses of what  people are having for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I have Instagram for that, thank you.

Anyway, Paeds are over. Time for Ortho.*waving sadly to Paeds department*

Tough day.

I saw a 10-year-old kid with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy today and my heart just broke. The reaction from the mother when she's being told there's no cure for her little boy was heart-breaking.I saw her eyes red and the tears she was trying to hold, not wanting her boy to see that she was sad. Then, she put on a brave smile and thanked the doctor who was seeing her kid. That was more heartbreaking than a korean drama ever will be.

I saw a 1-year-old kid with microcephaly with global developmental delay, hypertonic cerebral palsy and convulsion, today.. and again my heart just broke. He is small for his age, dozing off on his mother's lap. We measured his head circumference, tried to elicit reflexes but he continued to sleep without any care in the world. Yet the mother, the father and his big sister stood beside us, attentively listening and answering any questions being asked. We pondered on the future this kid will have and we are at loss. 

I don't want to be a doctor and lose my sympathy towards others. I don't want to see a case just because it's  interesting and not taking any lesson learnt from it. I am scared if one day, God forbid,  I lose my ability to empathize and to sympathize just because I am used to it. 

Like when you see a cadaver for the first time, it was such a huge deal. When I first entered the dissection hall, my heart was pounding, my eyes were on fire (because of the formalin, never get used to it. I even took my exam with eyes all watery due to the organs being dipped with excessive formalin) . My first year of medical school, I was seeing cadavers everyday. Even did dissection on them for countless of time. Then it became normal to me. A routine. Sometimes, I did wonder, this person I was dissecting on was once a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother to someone else. (My table's cadaver was a woman, for most of the time). It was tough seeing your table mate slapping your cadaver's behind and went off laughing. 

Anyhooooo, good night!

My new favourite.

Have you ever experienced through out your life, when you are about to do something, that you know it is wrong deep down inside, however strong you tried to deny it, then came this feeling, or something else came up, and prevented you from doing the bad deed?

Ali Imran

And hold firmly to the rope of Allah all together and do not become divided. And remember the favor of Allah upon you - when you were enemies and He brought your hearts together and you became, by His favor, brothers. And you were on the edge of a pit of the Fire, and He saved you from it. Thus does Allah make clear to you His verses that you may be guided.

Chosen without method i.e random.

I was on a shopping spree the other day. Online. Buying what else but books. The thing about India that I am going to miss most will be the dirt cheap books. Buying online is much much easier and cheaper and I will always get some free gifts with the books. Either quirky bookmarks or hideous pens or even weird mug coasters telling people they are sweet like jalebi. Jalebi is this I want to try this, before I leave India for good. I almost tried it once but my Indian friend stopped me saying it will not be good unless it is crispy and looking from that jalebis, we were pretty sure it was not. Gulab Jamun, for me, is a big NO.

If you want to get bookmarks, I suggest buy from flipkart. They have awesome customer service too. There was this one time, I was just hovering unsure of whether to buy this book or not, then a call came. I picked up (usually I don't if it's from an unknown number but when I have the feeling it is important, I will. and usually being anak ramalan, never disappoint.) and this person was asking me whether I have any problem with the website or anything. I was like No i was just trying to make up my mind whether to buy or not. And he was like, ok ma'am. Let me know if any problem comes up.

If you want hedious but none the less functional pens, go to homeshop18. You will get free coasters too. I am still using all the free gifts that I accumulated through time. If you want the cheapest book around..online.. go here and compare prices but you need to know what title you wanna buy though. No browsing thank you.

Anyway, I shifted to Paediatrics this week. Almost a week has gone, I just have to say, that me and my mates think we have never feel loved like this before. Being in my previous unit, you can just feel the eagerness to slap our faces from the Professor. Plus we are all girls. Almost everyone in the department loath   any human in resemblance of a woman. It's true. We have been discussing this topic in depth like thousands of time. We strongly feel, since they are meeting females almost everyday, it gets boring you know. Hence somehow, the existence of any sex but female provides some comfort and excitement to them. if you wanna know, usually guys are treated better in this department. 

But in paeds, you can just feel the love exuding from everyone in the entire department regardless of the gender. Never heard any scoldings, saw anyone pulling off faces or anything of that sort..yet.. Rounds are cheery occasions. People are smiling and laughing. Even the wards are drab looking and we felt sorry for the children, but the doctors are not. and that is most important.

overload.

"Take a bullet twuuu my bwaain!"
This is like the most adorable thing I have seen for such a long time..

Looking forward for Paeds postings and leaving OBG behind! Weeeee

optimistic

Honestly speaking, I was so happy to hear all my seniors passed their final year exam. It felt like there was this small ray of hope for me. Like a motivation. I can do this. Just another year to endure. Just another year with exams.

One more year.
One freaking year.

of labours and babies again.

I am just glad I am able to sleep on my own bed last two nights. My quota of witnessing 10 c-section and 10 normal vaginal deliveries had been fulfilled. I had my own two miserable weeks, waiting for deliveries. I had my fair shares of witnessing interesting cases and finishing it off with a bang also. The last labor I witnessed, the baby was literally popping out of the vagina. I don't know whether it was just my bad luck or what, but the amnion liqour splashed all over face and my apron (white coat). Thank God I had my specs on and I was not opening my mouth in awe or anything. It smelled really bad afterwards. Something like a rotten egg I think.

A fetus of 20+ weeks old. 

For some reason, vaginal deliveries were not that easy to witness. When you thought it is normal, it should be in abundance but it seemed not to me. And my fellow friends agreed to that too. It made you treasure every single labour you witnessed. But anyway, I am just glad it happened.

This past two weeks taught me about a lot of things. Like this is the path that I chose. Like I cannot afford to second guess myself. Like am I really going to do this. I think it made me realized more of what I want to do and what kind of doctor I want to be later in life. Not career wise but personality wise. My sister told me, this will be what internship like. You are in the hospital round the clock and you have time to barely even manage yourself. My situation was a bit different though since I have classes from 8am till 4pm. I dozed off  a couple of times during classes. Heh.

Never the less, this taught me to be independent. To treat everyone nicely and equally. To be positive. To have my utmost dependency to Allah. To have kind thoughts to Allah that he never abandon me in whatever condition I am in. I don't know how to tell you the helplessness I felt that day when no case came in. Good news came to me amidst all that chaos was my exam result. I finally made it to the final year officially which was like a huge relief. Now only passing the final year exam is the only thing I need to think about. Aside from learning to ask and understand Kannada too.

I need to master the basics at least.

Anyway,

I am holding on to this saying "Everyday may not be good, but there is something good everyday" It will only depend on how I am looking at it.

Toodles everybody.